The List
by Electrostorm21
Summary: Hopper gives Mike and El a list of rules with disastrous consequences. One shot only.


**Random idea that I had. The list will get more smut as it goes down. Enjoy**

'Ok El, Mike. The reason you're both sitting in that chair is because we have to go over some ground rules. I know you're both 15 and, you', Hopper looked pointedly at Mike, 'are wrapped around her finger like anything.' Hopper paused before bringing out a piece of paper. 'I know what's going through your brains at this age so, I need to lay down some ground rules. There are a few that I have repeated over the years, but most of them are new.'

For fun, he added something extra, 'These rules were not only made by myself but also by your friends, and Steve Harrington.' Hopper inwardly chuckled at the mortification on both of their faces. Before either of them could complain, Hopper began-

This _is a list of things that Eleven/Jane Hopper and Mike Wheeler, are not allowed to do in the presence of other people. Originally created by Jim Hopper._

 **El's Rules. By Jim Hopper.**

1\. El is not allowed to kiss Mike Wheeler for longer than five seconds. That means no making out.

2\. El is not allowed to feed Mike Wheeler like a baby, no matter how cute it makes him look.

3\. If for some reason, El and Mike sleep in the same house, they cannot share a room.

4\. If for some reason, they have to sleep in the same room, they cannot sleep in the same bed.

5\. If for some reason, they have to sleep in the same bed, they must keep their clothes on at all times. THIS RULE HAS NO EXCEPTIONS.

6\. El cannot sit on Mike at any time.

7\. El cannot put her hands in Mike's trouser pockets, 'just to keep her warm.'

8\. El cannot ever strip down in front of Mike or any other boy. (Shoes, hats, and gloves are the only exceptions.)

9\. El cannot put her feet in Mike's lap.

10\. El must stop putting Eggos down the front of her pants and then give them to an unsuspecting Mike. (You're not innocent.)

11\. If she is sitting next to Mike at the dinner table, El must keep her hands above the table at all times.

12\. El must stop eating Eggos that have been down her pants.

13\. El cannot use her powers unless it is a life or death situation. (Life or death does not mean tripping up a girl, just because she talks to Mike.)

14\. El must control her jealousy.

15\. El must stop making googly eyes at the Wheeler boy because she keeps walking into things.

16\. El cannot kiss the Wheeler boy whenever she feels like it, this includes; in class, at dinner, whenever they're alone and when they're with me.

17\. El must stop raising my heart rate and blood pressure up whenever she kisses the Wheeler boy.

Hop stops reading the list and turns to Mike and El. Mike's face is extremely red from embarrassment, especially after hearing rules 7-10. El, on the other hand, is red from anger and frustration. She smirks when she thinks about rule 10. Yeah sure, that's all that she does with the eggos. She knows Mike likes the flavour because he never complained.

'El, I don't mind you guys kissing but I do not want to come home to you straddling him with his hands up your shirt. Again.' Hopper said, trying to keep his cool.

'Ok, these rules come from your friends. I'm going to start with Mr. Henderson's, Mr. Sinclair's and Miss. Mayfield's, because it was so nice to hear this from them and not you two.' Hop continued to read.

18\. Mike has to stop sniffing El's hair.

19\. Mike has to stop nibbling El's ear. (Especially when we're eating.)

20\. Mike has to stop licking El's neck.

If Hopper wasn't so bemused with Wheeler's reaction, he would be really fucking angry. Mike had sunken into the chair so much, it was as if he had moulded into the couch. 'Sniffing, nibbling and licking. Oh, Mike. Do you have a death wish or something?' All El could see was Mike's wildly curly (and sexy) hair, poking out of the couch.

'Next we have Mr. Byers.'

21\. Mike needs to stop leaning forward whenever El enters a room. (We all know it's not because you want to get a closer look at her.)

22\. Mike needs to stop covering the front of his pants whenever El bends over in front of him.

Mike was so embarrassed. He couldn't believe his friends would do that to him. He certainly wasn't expecting his best friend to do that.

'And finally, my most favourite one out of them all; the rule from Steve Harrington. But before I read it, I'm just going to inform you Mike, that all the windows and doors are locked and I'm going to give you ten seconds to get out of my house before I kick your ass to the Upside-Down.' Hopper said with a smirk.

Mike turned from red to pale white in one second. His complexion reminded El of a piece of paper.

23\. Mike and El need permission from me (Steve), before they have sex in my swimming pool.

Hopper set down the list and looked at Mike as he started to count to ten.

One. Two. Three.

Mike stood up and emptied his pockets, putting all the money he had on the table.

Four. Five. Six.

Mike figured he was dead anyway and proceeded to kiss El for as long as he could.

Seven. Eight. Nine.

Mike stopped kissing El and started to run. He braced his arm in front of him and jumped. Straight at the locked door, crashing through it and falling to the floor.

Ten.

Mike tried to scramble up but found himself pinned by Hopper. He turned around to find himself face to face with a shotgun barrel. 'Time's up.' Hopper pulled the trigger.

Mike woke up with a start, sweat all over his body. His hand was stuck underneath something. It was something soft and yet kinda firm. He squeezed it and a squeal came from under the blanket. A head full of curls appeared from the blanket, 'Mike.' El said, scandalised. 'Oh, El. I had such a bad dream.' He said, hugging her. 'Let me guess. It involved my dad and a gun.' She felt Mike nod, 'well, do you want me to make it better for you?' She felt Mike nod again, 'Mmmm. And how would you like me to do that?' El said, seductively.

'Would you like me to kiss you better?' She said while pulling the blanket down further. 'Would you like me to massage you?' El pulled Mike's underwear down. His dick sprung out and El grabbed it.

 **You want the rest, don't you? I don't know. Should I make you wait or should I post the rest later? We will just have to see.**


End file.
